The Tall Tale of Oily Skin
There’s oil in them thar pores!
From a gusher to a plugged well, oil runs rampant on our skin.
When there’s too much, and your skin oozes oil, the first impulse is to head to a desert to dry it up. When it’s so dry, you’ll slather anything to stop your skin flakin’ like a dust storm.
This is the tall tale of oily skin.
Our Tall Tale Begins
Like many a good western, there’s two sides to a shoot-out, and being the fastest don’t mean it’s right.
On the one side are the land barons, those folks who own the territory. It’s their way or the highway (I’m not sure there were highways back then, but what the heck). On the other side are the recent arrivals, coming out west ‘cause they can’t stand their oily skin, no more.
The barons have set the rules that the townsfolk live by. According to the American Academy of Dermatology, they say you can come into town with your oily skin if you follow this list of 10 dos and don’ts.
Wash your face morning, evening, and after you sweat
Only use “oil free” skincare products
Hold up there partner. No oil on oil? Them’s fighting words.
Gunfight at the Oil Okay Corral
The archetypal loner came into town and started hearing stories; about how one guy had been on antibiotics for his oily skin, another used sunscreen indoors, another spent his day using blotting paper on his face, and many talked about things like astringents, chemical peels, and benzoyl peroxide. Their skin still looked pretty shiny to him. And in a western town, their faces attracted dust like bees to honey.
This loner had just passed through another town where there was this holistic conference, and people wearing flowers in their hair (The things we uncovered researching this article about the old west is kind of unbelievable). In one tent was this revivalist who talked about applying quality oils to oily skin. The loner at first was dubious, but after a while, he became a believer.
This revivalist said something that at first glance didn’t make sense.
“Ya strip away the natural oils, your skin is going to go into overdrive. And that’s when sebum buildup comes. So, best be careful when drying up the oil. More oil is better.” He then spat into a spittoon, which is how you make a point memorably.
The loner went back to his room (which he shared with Rocky*) and looked up sebum.
‘Sebum is an oily, waxy substance produced by your body's sebaceous glands.’
He went downstairs to the bar for a couple shots of whiskey, knowing that this investigation was going to be tough, and potentially gross.
But here’s what he found. Sebum is your friend. It keeps your skin hydrated and forms a film on its surface that protects against those varmints that attack your skin. The problems start coming when there’s imbalance. The sebaceous glands start producing more sebum. Pores get bigger and then get clogged, and then we got a gusher.
The loner went back to the conference to find out what could be done. The revivalist had one word for him, “Hydration.”
When he got back to his room, he first noticed that Rocky had checked out. Then he went about his continuing investigation. If the skin is not hydrated well enough, it’s going to produce more sebum. And if you try drying it, unless you spend all day in a shower, hydration is going to be a problem.
The next day the conference was packing up. The loner went to the place where the tent used to be. No one was there. But then the sun set on a small bottle filled with golden oil. There was a note attached. It read, “Jojoba is no laughing matter.”
Back to his room (where he still had an extra day on his internet access and a new Gideon’s bible by the bed) he reconnoitered through a web of information facts about Jojoba Oil, and other beneficial essential oils. First thing he found was that jojoba oil regulates sebum production because it's so similar to the sebum that your body produces naturally. When you put jojoba oil on your skin, your skin is soothed and moisturized. This sends a signal to your hair and sweat follicles that your skin doesn't need additional sebum for hydration.
Eureka!
So now, dear reader, we go back to the town where people are suffering from oily skin and have to pay the land baron for solutions that keep things from getting better. After perusing the many joints, the loner gathered a bunch of frustrated oily types, and told them “like treats like.” (Loners usually talk in riddles with words that only have one syllable.)
The townsfolk said, “No one’s ever told us that.”
He then took out a bottle of ‘Soak It Up!’ and said, “Try this.”
At first, they didn’t, but then one oily critter snuck off for a week and came back with skin that appeared to look good, not shiny. The others followed, and pretty soon the baron and his hired guns forced a showdown.
Now the loner had seen what had happened to Rocky and his showdown and did not want the same fate. So, he left town, but not before he had set up a clandestine subscription service.
There is no moral to this tall tale. There are just options, rugged individuals, and choices people make.
*For those who did not immediately get the reference, look to The Beatles “Rocky Racoon.”